V/H/S is fuzzy

I am a horror anthology nut. I LOVE the portmanteau films, the old Amicus stuff - TALES FROM THE CRYPT, DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS, THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD, etc. - probably my favorite genre of film. So it should come as no surprise that I was looking forward to seeing the new anthology film VHS. It's available on Netflix streaming now and in Redbox, too. I actually rented a DVD copy at my local Redbox and gave it a watch. And quickly wished I hadn't.

It is a series of four, or five, I forget now - stories, all shot on VHS. They are all done found footage style, and all tied together through a flimsy plot of a house with a bunch of TVs in one room and a tape, or tapes, with these stories on them that our characters watch.

Honestly, this film is a mess. The wrap-around segment makes no sense. The individual stories range from so-so to flat out horrible. The characters are all, pretty much without exception, a bunch of stupid kids that are just assholes, the kind of people you see in public and pretty much wish would drive off a cliff. Seriously, there isn't one character in this film you give two shits about. This is a lazy film, with no suspense, tension, hell, no basic thought given to scene composition or really anything other than what looks like a rushed, amateur "horror" film.

There are EIGHT directors listed for this movie, including Ti West, and TWELVE writers. Maybe it's a case of too many cooks but this film is ugly to watch, incoherent, and inept. Avoid at all costs.

Mama

There's a new movie opening next weekend that I'm pretty jazzed about called MAMA. It is from director Andres Muschietti and Guillermo Del Toro is listed as executive Producer. I don't know much about any of the stars, and the director - judging by his IMDB credits - is a first-time director.
But I do know one thing.

This movie looks scary as shit.

It is rated PG13, which it seems some people on the Internet have a problem with. Apparently it can't be a horror movie if it isn't rated R. Which is just stupid, to be blunt. I suppose the filmmakers could have simply peppered the plot with profanity and maybe showed a boob or two, a quick nip slip and quickly gotten the rating up to an R, but if the script doesn't call for it then it's just dishonest. Fuck that, I'd rather see the filmmakers be true to the story. And this one doesn't call for all that:

Mama is about a pair of children who are found living in the woods alone in a dilapidated shack. Their parents died and they've lived alone for at least five years, yet somehow, inexplicably, they've survived. The children are returned to society and turned over to their uncle for care. That's when things begin to go wrong, and we learn the secret of how they survived... and that they weren't all alone after all.

I'm not sure how much input Del Toro had on this movie, but everything that guy touches turns to gold. I'm onboard. The trailer looks great. In theaters January 18th

Short Story on Kindle

For the 2013 season I have decided to tackle a project I've always wanted to do more of, writing. I was talking with some fellow writers and we decided to do a challenge called 13 for 13 - we will write thirteen short stories for the year 2013, and publish them online. This may not sound overly ambitious to those of you who are writers, but it is a nice steady project for me, and one I've really been enjoying thus far.

I posted my first story on Kindle. I considered posting the stories here, but there is something satisfying about "officially" publishing them on Kindle, and they can potentially reach a wider audience this way. The first story is a short one, the next two are a bit longer. It is posted on kindle here:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ATJURDC

And for the next 5 days it is available for free (Until January 7th), so start downloading!!